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Get ready for an active social life after divorce

The end of a marriage can signal more than just not having someone there to greet you when you get home. It begins a change in the social life that you've had in your marriage. This can be a challenge to work through, but there isn't any reason why you can't enjoy an active social life now.

One of the most important things that you need to remember is that you now represent only yourself and not your marriage. You aren't representing divorced people or anyone other that you. Here are some tips to help you get back out into the world:

Take your time

Don't try to rush into another relationship. Even though you were accustomed to having a spouse with you when you were out doesn't mean that you can't venture out and do things alone. Trying to rush into another relationship too quickly can do more harm than good because you might be trying to force yourself into a relationship just for the "safety" of being on on. However, not many will actually last and many more may make you miserable in the long run: Pay attention to and honor your needs. Like a pithy line from the film, "Untamed Heart," "It's better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong."

Find out what you enjoy doing

Take the time to try out new things. You never know activities you are going to find enjoyable until you try them. This doesn't mean that you have to go skydiving, but you should try to branch out. Maybe consider bowling, group painting, taking dance lessons, wine tasting or martial arts. Even if you don't enjoy something that you try, at least you know you gave it a try and that, it itself, is usually a confidence boost!

Develop a close circle of friends

You might have lost some friends when your marriage ended. Just because that occurred doesn't mean that you need to give up on friends. As you try new activities, you will likely find people who enjoy doing those same things. This is one place that you can turn when you want to find new friends. Just like you shouldn't force a romantic relationship, don't try to shoehorn in a friendship.

Enjoy your children and family

While you were married, your focus was likely on your marriage. Now that you are free from marital ties, you can focus on rebuilding the family relationships that might have fallen by the wayside. If you have children, take time to find fun things that you can enjoy with your children.

The period after divorce is a time of reinvention. This is your time to enjoy the life that you want to live. You just have to make it happen.

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Robert Schembs
141 E. Washington Street
Suite 225
Indianapolis, IN 46204

Phone: 317-643-6266
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