Wanda Bass, a nurse, and Ken Bass, an electronics technician and UPS supervisor, were divorced in 2002. They have two sons, who are now 15 and 22. Today, those sons are well-adjusted and proud of their parents, but it wasn’t always that way.
If you take the time to think it over, kids don’t get hurt and angry because their parents have problems. They get hurt and angry because their parents aren’t solving those problems.
Ken and Wanda knew that, but when they tried to communicate so they could co-parent their sons, more often than not it would turn into an argument.
In an effort to re-start that communication, Ken thought he would get a Mother’s Day card for Wanda — one that let her know how much he appreciated her as mother after the divorce. When he tried to buy that Mother’s Day card, though, they all seemed wrong. Most of them just assumed that “mother” automatically meant “wife.”
As it turned out, Wanda was running into a similar thing. She wanted a greeting card for Ken that might help break the ice. There was just nothing.
By whatever road, the exes each discovered the other had tried and failed to find an appropriate greeting card for your ex and co-parent. It took some doing, but the pair worked together to found Xcards.
“I knew if this was a problem for us that there had to be others out there with the same problem,” says Ken. According to Wanda, “Xcards became that stepping stone for forgiveness, healing and restoration for us.“
Starting a business with your ex would be pretty challenging, but Ken and Wanda’s example can serve to remind us that solving a problem together is one way to rebuild trust.
“Co-parenting may not require friendship right away but it does require cooperation in order for your children to grow up in a socially healthy environment,” Wanda stresses.
What could you do to break the ice with your ex?