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How do I maintain a relationship with my grandkids after divorce?

by | Apr 6, 2017 | Custody & Visitation

If your child goes through a divorce, you may end up in a delicate situation regarding contact with your grandchildren, especially if he or she is the noncustodial parent. Even if the court grants you visitation rights, you may experience anger or resentment toward your child’s former spouse. If you allow those feelings to manifest themselves in your speech or attitudes around your grandkids, they could damage your relationship and cause further pain.

According to, one effective way to protect your relationship with your grandchildren is to maintain a cordial relationship with your child’s former spouse. If you show respect toward both of your grandchildren’s parents, the kids will probably feel more secure around you, and less like they are choosing sides. If possible, make an effort to make positive remarks about your former son- or daugher-in-law. Your grandchildren still love both of their parents, and they benefit from adult influences who are not continually criticizing their mom or dad. On the other hand, expressing constant negativity toward one parent may cause your grandchildren to withdraw from you.

When your grandchildren are with you, do not center your conversation around the divorce. Rather, allow your time together to be a reprieve from the emotional stress they may be experiencing. If they do feel the need to talk about their struggles with the divorce, you can offer a listening ear, but it may not be beneficial for you to initiate those conversations. Attempt to give your visits the same atmosphere they had before the divorce took place. This stability may be a source of comfort during the difficult changes your grandchildren are experiencing. This information is provided for educational purposes only, and should not be interpreted as legal advice.

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